We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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