nut hugger
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
