just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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