I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
