Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
