I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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