You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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