Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Someone signed my nipple.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
