I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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