you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
