i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she peed on how many people?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
