I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize