I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
