no, he came in my armpit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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