If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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