Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
