Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
