you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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