Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
