Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
