Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
