hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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