Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
His nipple licking is glorious
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