another moral hangover. fuck.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
