Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
