Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
