And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
