'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize