TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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