Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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