I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
