i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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