So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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