So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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