I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
