Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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