She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
