Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
