Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
