everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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