i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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