But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
