i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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