omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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