the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
