'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
