Is that why you're texting me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours