the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think my tv is drunk
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You need Xanax blowdarts
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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