Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He shit in the fireplace
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
