who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
high people should be assigned attendants
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
