we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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