oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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