I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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