I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize