We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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