It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
