When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
