But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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